Meditations for Queer Femmes – FEMME LOVE HEAL WORLD

In honor of the Scandinavian side of my family and to accommodate a custody schedule, here at the Total Femme’s house, we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. This Dec. 24, for the first time in a few years, everyone was front and center, in good health, and capable of enjoying each other’s company. Glorious!

Inspired by my friend Miel’s way with ritual and intent, I rode the good vibes and came up with a family ceremony that I know we’ll do again next year. It was short and sweet and a little last minute, but the power of love was with us, and even my cynical old grump of a father joined in with only one small grumble.

For the ritual, I spoke briefly about the Winter Solstice, and read the poem “Thank You, Fog” by W.H. Auden. Then we went around the circle and each offered up a wish for the world.

We wished that there be more quiet, that communities devastated by drug cartels in Mexico be healed, that the earth be healed by understanding how we’re all connected, by getting rid of pollution, by getting rid of the Trump administration and by rejecting the western notion of progress.

We each said how we would manifest the energy to address those issues in 2018. We promised to do more educating of ourselves and others, to be good role models, to unplug and slow down, to be aware and to help where we can.

We each chose a charity for an end-of-the-year donation and spoke briefly of the work of the organizations and why it’s important to us: Youth on Fire, The Center for Coastal Studies, Animals Asia, Arlington Eats, Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network and Wôpanâak Language Reclamation Project.

The ritual was calming and bonding. It was so lovely!

Below, I offer a femme version of this ritual to you, sweet femme sisters, as we ride out the last bits of 2017 and get gussied up to meet the new year.

We need each other, we must connect and share our wisdom.

I love you.


FEMME LOVE HEAL WORLD – a femme ritual to be done at the New Year, or any time it’s needed

This can be done by a femme alone, or in a group of femmes, and you can tailor things to meet your own needs.

You can open with a poem, preferably by a queer poet. There are so many to chose from! “To Martha: A New Year” by Audre Lorde is a beautiful one…

On a piece of paper, write down the answer to the question: What is your wish for the world?

If you’re in a group, fold up the paper and put it in a bowl/hat/basket; each femme picks one (switch it up if you pick your own). If you’re alone, just speak your answer out loud, maybe looking into the mirror or up into the sky.

Go around the circle and ask each femme to read the question and respond to it by saying, “I will manifest femme energy to address this issue by _______________________.”

Everyone responds, “So mote it be.”

After all the femmes have spoken, you can burn the paper to release that energy into the world.

You can keep a record of your answers in order to revisit them the next time you do the ritual, or as a reminder to yourself when you’re feeling scattered. You can chose a charity for a donation, and educate the group of femmes about the work of the charity you chose.


Post here to share your wishes, how you’re manifesting femme energy, and your favorite charities! Share the femme love!!! I can’t wait to hear from you!

Every Monday (or Tuesday), I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.


Meditations for Queer Femmes — Crafting Queer Femme Ritual

Today, in honor of the solar eclipse, Miel Rose guides us in the basics of crafting a queer femme ritual. She says,

Ritual appeals to/communicates with the deeper parts of ourselves through symbolic action. So the key is to find the symbolic action that feels intuitively right for you.

One technique I like to use is to do some automatic writing and this is my suggestion: set a timer for 5 mins (or whatever length seems appealing). Write continually for this time whatever pops into your head. The first topic could be: what themes are up for me right now? What have I been thinking about? Are there recurring themes in my dreams?  What has been most present in my mind, or what has been nagging at the edges that I’ve been ignoring? 

The second topic could be: what do eclipses mean to me? What are my associations, memories? When I hear the word ‘eclipse’ what do I think of? 

 After this, read your writing out loud (getting in an openly curious and intuitive state of mind). If you are doing this with another person(s), look for overlap between the pieces and share what you think relates in the other’s pieces. Alone or together, see if there are already easily accessible imagery/symbolism that jumps out at you. If not, look at the themes and open yourself up to see what imagery comes to mind.

 Examples– someone feels burdened so they fill a bag full of rocks to symbolize their burdens, naming them and carrying them around until it feels right to empty the bag and let the burdens go.

 Someone feels called to work with water, but doesn’t have access to a body of water near by, so they fill a clear glass bowl with tap water and do their ritual around that.

 Someone wants to do ritual to preserve some of the high energy of the harvest season to carry with them into the dormant winter time. The first thing that pops into their head is a pantry full of canned goods, so they turn canning into an intentional ritual of kitchen magic.

If you get stumped, or don’t have the time or inclination to craft your own right now, a really simple format is writing down either your intentions for what you want to manifest/what you are committing to/what you would like divine help with in the coming months OR what your ready to shed and let go of. Write them on pieces of paper and burn them, sending the intentions out into the universe. You can also do both of these in the same ritual, burning what your letting go of and then what you’re calling in. When you’re doing this with someone else it’s really nice to do it out loud and witness each other.

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.


Published in: on August 21, 2017 at 8:33 AM  Leave a Comment  
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