Meditations for Queer Femmes – Proud

It was a hard weekend. The weather was gorgeous and I am safe and well, but my emotions were running wild. I was dwelling on the past, being hard on myself, tumbling in a river of despair and grief starting with myself and expanding to all the world. Sadly, I’ve spent a lot of time in that raging river, especially when I was younger, before I knew I was queer, when I thought I was completely broken. It’s disturbing and astounding to me how comfortable it can be to immerse myself in that familiar unremitting misery. How stubborn about it I can be.

This past weekend was Pride in Boston. I couldn’t go last year because I was so sick with chemo, so I had really, really been looking forward to going this year, especially to the Dyke March. Everything went online, so I certainly could have participated, but in my shitty mood, I couldn’t be bothered. Then, with the last few drops of healthy and at the very last minute, I managed to get in the car with Tex and go haring off in search of the LexPride car caravan Pride parade in the next town over. We put on our Pride beads, and Tex wore her Provincetown rainbow tank and I rocked my Fierce, Femme & Fabulous hot pink top, a gift from a friend. The parade was winding down when we grabbed a spot at the very end of the line, a rowdy caboose, cranking Le Tigre and the B52s, waving our tiny rainbow flag and shouting, “Happy Pride!” out the window. It was wonderful.

As Tex said, you gotta bring your cute, your joy, and your happy when you go to Pride, and that’s what we did.

Sisters dear, may you bask in the glow of Pride today. May your Pride – our Pride — feed you and comfort you in the midst of frightening and difficult times. Throw on a little gay music and let the rainbow love soothe you and fill you and center you in queer delight, that your spirits are revived and you know who you are and where you are.

Happy Pride!!!!

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, kind, and wise and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) As I recover from treatment for breast cancer, however, I’m just going to post whenever I can manage.



Whose Pride? Who’s Proud?

The below is offered for those of us who are working for queer liberation in mostly straight, liberal enclaves, where the going vibe is “hey, gays, we’re all ok!” and queer energy is cheerfully coopted to keep the straight status quo on the go. It’s a challenge to keep exhorting these good-hearted people to bust out of their complacency without actually using the f-word. Below is one of my latest attempts, to be published in our UU church newsletter. The backstory is more complicated than I will go into here, but basically, Interweave is sort of a UU church GSA, and (surprise) it’s mostly G and the G are doing almost all of the work while the S in the larger congregation stop me at coffee hour and thank me for the wonderful work I’m doing.

Whose Pride? Who’s Proud?

What percentage of our UU church is LGBTQ? Sometimes it seems that we make up half of the congregation! The numbers are quite a bit lower than that, however, but one reason LGBTQ folks might seem more prevalent here is that our visibility is quite a bit higher than it is on the outside.

We have so much to celebrate.

Our chapter of Interweave was formed in order to give straight and LGBTQ members of our church “opportunities for fellowship, support, spiritual growth, social justice work and community activism, both within the congregation and in the wider community.” One of these opportunities is fast approaching! Yes, it is time to start planning for the Pride Parade.

Last year, our church officially registered with the Pride committee and marched with our own banner. The Sunday before Pride, we had a Pride service. The day of Pride, we enjoyed a Pride breakfast, a moving Invocation, and an After Party here at church. This year, we are planning to secure a good spot for folks from the congregation to watch the Parade together, as some would prefer not to march or are unable to. And we hope to encourage more members of the congregation to attend the very moving service at the Arlington Street UU church before the Parade. Our observances of this wonderful and important day are becoming deeper and more varied.

We have so much to celebrate.

Our very first Interweave Interlude, published last year, was about Pride. An Interweave member and lesbian mom wrote:

Our family plans to march with our church in the Pride Parade…and we want to invite you to join us. I know if you don’t identify with the gay community, or don’t have close friends or family members in our community (or even if you do), it may not feel as if it is your place or responsibility to march with our church in the Pride parade. If this is the case, I invite you to reconsider. Pride is our one day of the year to come together, gay and straight, to promote awareness, justice, understanding, acceptance, and equality… If you want to show your support for equality for all and help our church become a more inclusive community for everyone, this is the single most important event that you can get involved in.

Interweave again extends the invitation not only to participate in Pride activities this year, but to lend a generous hand in helping plan for this wonderful and important day. At the time of this writing, we do not yet have our two marshals, nor have we secured enough members of a Pride committee to do all of the necessary planning. Our next Interweave meeting will focus on Pride. Please plan to participate!

Let’s celebrate together.

The Total Femme

Chair, Interweave

Published in: on March 23, 2014 at 8:55 AM  Leave a Comment  
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