Femme Friday — tatiana de la tierra

tatania de la tierra came stomping into my life with her big femme feet through her essay, “A Latina Combat Femme, Her Shoes, and Ensuing Cultural Identity” in The Femme Mystique, edited by Lesléa Newman. When I went out internet questing to find her for a Femme Friday feature, I was devastated to learn that she crossed over the rainbow bridge in 2012.

Reading her friends’ testimonials, as well as perusing her work and writing, it is clear that tatiana’s queer life enriched the world immeasurably. Her fearlessness, sense of humor, sense of the sacred, her love of lesbians and lesbian sex, of her Latinx culture and soul, her generosity in sharing; tatiana, I didn’t know you, but I miss your presence here in this plane. RIP, dear tatiana. And I think we all know what the “P” stands for.

Deep gratitude to tatiana de la tierra – big fat pussy girls make the rockin’ queer world go round!

 Big Fat Pussy Girl


This is what happened.  Me, my cunt, and Margarita—that’s her name—we started getting intimate.  And Margarita would say stuff to me, like, Ay mami, que rica que tu eres.  And she’d be kissing on me and touching and swooning and I let her.  And she’d be exploring me with her questions and with her tongue and with her nose and with her fingertips and when her fingers finally got there, right there to my cunt, ahí, ahí, Margarita said, Papayona, mira esta papaya tan sabrosa que tienes…Papayona.

Papayona.  Big fat pussy.  She said it.  She named it.  I didn’t just have any pussy.  I had a big fat pussy.  And this was a good thing.  Papayona.  Bigger, softer, better.  Papayona.  Wider, deeper, wetter.  Panochota, 3X double-wide extra padded. Chochachona.  Big fat pussy. Queen-size cunt.  A whaler of a cunt, the cruise ship of cunts, the World Wide Web of cunts, the Cadillac of cunts, the castle of cunts, the eagle of cunts, the Jupiter of Cunts.  Papayona.  The Library of Congress of cunts.  Papayona.  The Disney World of Cunts.  Papayona.  The Sonora Matancera of Cunts.

Los invitamos a vivir emociones de otros  tiempos. Señoras y Señores, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have the immense pleasure of presenting to you the Dean of Cunts, the world-wide famous Sonora Papayona with original arrangements and the best digital sound, con ustedes, la Sonora Papayona, the grand orchestral pussy of the 21st century.

Pa-pa-pa-papayona, que ricura chingona
Pa-pa-pa-panochota, una tremenda nota
Cho-cho-cho-chocha chochona que niñita tan mona

Big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl

Got the fattest shiniest pearl
Got the deepest oiliest well
Got the sweetest lingering smell
Got the prettiest prettiest shell
Got the prettiest prettiest shell

Big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl
Big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl, big fat pussy girl

12 de agosto de 2001, 1:48 a.m., buffalo, nueva york

–Porcupine Love and Other Tales from My Papaya.  Buffalo:  Chibcha Press, 2005.  5.  Also recorded as:  “Big Fat Pussy Girl.”  Vagina Dialogues: A Queer Review. Compact disc recording. Hag Theatre, 2002.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com.


Femme Friday — Lesléa Newman

Many of you may know Lesléa (pronounced Lez-LEE-uh) Newman as the author of Heather Has Two Mommies, but she is also a big ol’ femme who has been in the public eye for many years, writing, speaking, mentoring and just generally being visible as heck. With 70 books under her bodice, there’s a lot to read by this fabulous femme, but my favorites are two of her books from the 90s: Out of the Closet and Nothing to Wear and Little Butch Book. I also love and appreciate The Femme Mystique which she edited in 1995. What are your favorites?

Deep gratitude to Lesléa!

When I sent out a call for manuscripts for The Femme Mystique, I got hundreds of replies. Some women shared my story of being a femme until adolescence, only to give it up and then take it back again. Other women wrote about being tomboys and not discovering their femme side until later in life. I heard from femme tops, femme bottoms, high femmes, ultrafemmes, femmes who sleep with other femmes, femme-on-the-street-butch-in-the-sheets femmes, furious femmes, future femmes, and forever femmes.

 Many femmes wrote about the frustration of being perceived as heterosexual, both in the straight world and in the lesbian community. Many femmes wrote about the pain of unhappy childhoods, unlike many butches who knew from an early age why they felt different. Many femmes wrote about the rage they feel when they are assumed by straight and gay people alike to be “just another pretty face.” And many femmes wrote about the joys of being femme, the sheer pleasures of our sensuality and sexuality that make it all worthwhile.

 Here are our stories. It is my hope that this book will offer an understanding of the many ways there are to be femme. I thank Sasha Alyson for entrusting me with this project and all the women who sent me their poems, essays, photographs, and stories. I would also like to thank all the femmes who came before me, gracing the world with their beauty and their bravery. And to all the femmes who come after me, I say this: each femme has her own mystique. Find yours, and never let anyone take it away from you.

Lesléa Newman, June 1995, The Femme Mystique

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. Suggestions welcome!