Meditations for Queer Femmes — Gentle Homo! Gentle Fem!

Right now things are fucking terrifying, but we are not alone, sweetest darlings.

This morning on my walk, I came across three heartening communications from people in the neighborhood: 2 driveways filled with chalk art saying things like HOPE! LOVE! IT WILL BE OK! DON’T FORGET TO SMILE…AND WASH YOUR HANDS! and then some community-minded wag had pinned a joke to their fence (“What did the hurricane say to the island? I’ve got my eye on you!”).

Strangers are sending us love.

The library is closed, along with all the books I had on hold to be read for my MFA program, so I am reading books from my childhood. Some of them I read to my own kids, but some of them I haven’t read for almost 50 years. Right now I’m about half way through Andre Norton’s science fiction novel Catseye, published in 1961, and the most delightful discovery! Back then, ol’ Andre came up with a really cool couple of honorifics that the people in that far-away futuristic world use: Gentle Homo and Gentle Fem. I hope this information brightens your day as much as it did mine!

I am sending you love.

It is with so much gratitude that I am witnessing the support and sharing of resource from so many people. There is clearly a great desire to help each other and give each other hope. Dear sweet sisters, don’t forget our own inner femme core of strength, either, as that is perhaps our greatest resource. We can turn inward, not to isolate or shut down, but to find succor in our own brilliance and long life of queer magic. It might be a memory from childhood. It might be something you set down earlier but now pick up again, like baking or tie-dying or gardening. Reach out to each other, but also reach out to yourself. Remember who you are and what you have.

You are centered in love and filled with love.


The Total Femme xoxo

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, kind, and wise and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) As I undergo treatment for breast cancer, however, I’m just going to post whenever I can manage.