Meditations for Queer Femmes – Second Shot

I got my second shot on Sunday and am still wending my way through the after effects, which for me, so far, are a wicked sore arm, fatigue, being short of breath, being right spacey, and some neck and back stiffness. Post-shot things are so different for everyone, and there’s so much local lore circulating; I still have no idea what the next couple of days hold. For now, I’m sticking close to home, where I can easily rest, drink water, grab a snack. It was nice being in the park earlier with the dog, just a gentle perambulation.

Second shot – shoe to drop. That’s what it feels like. We’re all there, waiting to see what’s going to happen next. In my life, I’m wondering about, among many many others, if our chorus will be in person this fall, and even if it is, will I feel comfortable joining in? I graduate from my writing program Jan. 2022 – will that be in person? When might I feel ok about flying again? It occurs to me that this isn’t all that different from me coming back into a post-cancer life: things have changed and I’m still learning how.

It occurs to me that this isn’t all that different from day-to-day life. We’re just not all that used to paying such close attention.

One of the categories on the 2021 Provincetown Library Reading Challenge is “A book that is your favorite comfort read,” and that would be a good, not-too-violent, voicey mystery for me. I’m currently reading the latest in Spencer Quinn’s most excellent (except for the third one; be careful with the third one) series about Chet and Bernie, Chet being the dog and the narrator. When he finds things getting a touch too complicated, Chet is always saying things like, “I dropped this whole thing at once, made my mind a complete blank, and felt much better, more like myself. In fact, exactly like myself, which is when I’m at my best.”* Chet is my enlightened hero!

Second shot or not, my sweet worldbound queer femme dragonflies, if you can once and a while give it up and give it over today, finding yourself right there where you always are, things will expand and present themselves as they always do. Dystopic novel or not, every day, every hour, holds the power. Holds us if we let it.

*Of Mutts and Men by Spencer Quinn, 2020

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday, and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) And…as I go through graduate school and life life life, I will post as I am able, Mabel.