Meditations for Queer Femmes – Femme Love Heal World

I just read an article in the local paper about two parents of color whose 4th grader had been called racist names by classmates. One of the way the parents responded was by applying for and receiving a grant from a local education foundation to make a series of posters celebrating people of color in STEM, to be displayed at their child’s elementary school. The school happens to be the same one my college-age sons attended, as well as the site of a project colleagues and I worked on that is funded by the same educational foundation: the Rainbow Alliance, a pre-GSA. Middle schoolers had told us that bullying around LGBTQ+ issues begins in grade school, and this is one of the ways we responded.

          Do these stories sound familiar? I mean, in that members of the targeted population are the ones doing the innovative and creative work, responding to the bullying and effecting positive cultural change at the school. This is so often the case!

            I was so glad to read about these parents and already have ideas about how we might combine forces to make even more of an impact. How about including some LGBTQ+ people of color in STEM? Whatever we might come up with together, we will be more powerful together, not to mention feeling less alone. This is exactly the kind of collaboration and connection I am always looking for in my organizing work.

            I’m now remembering back to when I was part of a UU church congregation and we had a gathering of queers in the church one evening, a pot luck. There were a couple of straight, cis, white men, also members of the congregation, who took it upon themselves to show up and work quietly in the kitchen while we queers chatted and enjoyed ourselves. It was an amazing moment for me. Although that church and I parted ways when it finally became crystal clear that this Welcoming Congregation was actually dedicated to assimilation instead of radical change, one of those fellas washing up that evening is now my most trusted straight colleague. He knows how to listen, ask, offer his considerable organizing expertise, and then step out of the way, unless, of course, he can be useful on chore roster! I learn so much from him about being an ally myself.

            In addition, we queer femmes do our own hard work, every day, so that we can live and love as fully queer, fully ourselves, healthy and vibrant, and this gives us an understanding of the kinds of indignities and worse faced members of other minority populations.

Today, dear, busy, thoughtful and kindhearted queer femme sisters, celebrate what you do to support and spread love to others on the front line of oppression, violence and hatred. Who do you see that others don’t?

            I’m not suggesting you take one yet another project, because I suspect you’ve already got more than enough going on. I want you to care for your precious queer femme selves! I’m just hoping that today you will honor those connections, those points of contact: a smile, a shared glance, a quick word, an “I see you!” nod: all of these are part of the love you spread, and are part of the beautiful queer femme healing that is your birthright and your gift.

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)

 

Meditations for Queer Femmes – Bless Me, Ancestors

Thank you to my sweet femme sister, Miel, for allowing me to share her incredibly moving prayer with you today. May it connect you to those who came before us and inspire you to imagine a future world in which we will be the beloved and powerful ancestors.

Bless Me, Ancestors

a prayer by Miel Rose

May I live each day

Honoring my connection to you who came before

However complicated

Knowing my inheritance is rich

In both wisdom and wounding

Choosing which legacy continues with me

And which is put to bed

Buried in the healing Earth

May my heart beat in time with those Ancestors

Reaching back

Who lived in a deeply balanced relationship with all things

Those who recognized and honored kinship

Past human relations

Those who lived attuned to the cycles

Through abundance to scarcity

Birth to grown to death to rebirth

Waxing to waning

Let my heartbeat recalibrate to yours

And may this change ripple outward

Creating exponential shifts within and without

I claim you and am claimed by you

And may my steps through this life

Be in alignment with your sacred legacy

Miel Rose offers her gorgeous wares, femme-made and filled with femme love and healing, including hand embroidery, sacred votive candles, altar cloths and skin medicine, at her etsy store, flame and honeycomb.

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)

 

 

Femme Friday — Bevin Branlandingham, Queer Fat Femme, The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Life

As Femmecee and Femme Shark at QueerFatFemme.com, Bevin uses her blog to “chronicle the relentless pursuit of my joy.” She continues, “I believe all bodies are good bodies and work to make the world safe for people to love themselves.” She offers workshops such as “Drag for all Genders”, “Nobody Ever Died of Awkward” and will work with you or your organization to customize something just for you. She speaks on topics from LGBT family planning to real estate law; performs and teaches burlesque; teaches a dance aerobics class called Fat Kid Dance party (For All Sizes to Heal From Body Oppression); and has her own line of femme teas. Is there nothing this amazing femme can’t do??

Deep gratitude to Bevin for her love of all bodies, her sense of fun and community, and her amazing and generous femme outreach!

Get ready to dance at Fat Kid Dance Party!!!

(Don’t miss the part where she talks about not internalizing the “too muches”, including “too feminine”!)

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess.  I want to feature you! Email me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me feature your beautiful, unique, femme story!