The Total Femme

In reading the vignette below, a recounting of the MLK Day celebration for our suburban town, I hope you can find ways to connect to your own queer femme relationship with Dr. King’s work.

When I was a little, chubby, white, baby femme bookworm, I just assumed MLK Day was already a holiday, although that actually happened much later. My suburb, just next door to the city of St. Louis, had experienced white flight, so that by the time I got to high school, the student population was over 90% black. Jessie Jackson spoke in our auditorium, telling us, “You are somebody!!!” At that assembly, there were some white students who refused to stand for the Black National Anthem, while others were actively involved in organizing against apartheid.

Last night, in the Boston suburb where I’ve lived for over 20 years, my butch and I joined the mostly elderly white crowd for our town’s MLK Day celebration. We all stood for the black National Anthem, and the familiar peons to Dr. King were spoken earnestly and lovingly. An award was given to a white minister who “embodies Dr. King’s values”. We sang “We Shall Overcome” and enjoyed the Mistress of Ceremonies’ seamless, rambling, beloved routine (what will she say this year?!).

The white minister who received the reward is she who refused the queer kids I work with their Drag Extravaganza.* I remained seated, as did my butch, when she received a standing ovation. Queerness, in fact, is glaringly lacking, year after year,** although the piano player last night was definitely gay.

As a white, queer, avoirdupois, middle-aged, femme bookworm, I absolutely believe that MLK would love the gays. Everyone uses his words to further their own versions of justice and much has been written about how his increasingly outside-the-box and radical thinking has been watered down. As we continue to strive to, in the words of Colson Whitehead, “Be kind to each other, make art, and fight the power,” can we honor this man’s legacy by honoring his truly world-changing ideas and including everyone?

The Mistress of Ceremonies called for the audience to give the MLK Committee suggestions for next year. My butch and I will be complying with her request.

*Please see my post “Love Letter to the Methodists”

**Please see my post, “Would MLK Love the Gays?”

Every Monday (or Tuesday), I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was a fabulous straight femme, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.