Femme Friday – Moon Eaters, a zine edited by Lily Xie, Crystal Bi Wegner, and Ailin Lu in Somerville, MA

The other day whilst batting about in Davis Square, I was lucky enough to pick up an issue of Scout Somerville in which there is an article about a new zine, Moon Eaters. The zine is “at the intersection of Asian Pacific Islander American (APIA) and femme identities” and the first issue was released in June. The Scout Somerville article includes an interview with Moon Eaters editors, Lily Xie, Crystal Bi Wegner, and Ailin Lu.

“I feel like not seeing people who share something with you, it’s this loneliness,” says Lily in the interview. “It’s really hard to create your identity in a vacuum – you really latch onto whatever you can. There’s queer media and there’s APIA media, and there’s not a lot that is both, so you start to cobble together this mosaic of different pieces of your identity from these different worlds, but there’s a lot of things that conflict. So it’s sometimes confusing, there’s tension there. So having something that encompasses both of those worlds makes me feel a little less lonely.”

I haven’t managed to get an issue of Moon Eaters yet, but this old queer femme zinester from the 90s just can’t wait!

Deep gratitude to Lily, Crystal and Ailin for their essential and healing work, for their generosity, their art, their creativity and queer femme brilliance; for their discussion about amateur wisdom and about identifying red flags when someone might be trying to take advantage of your identity and for not being afraid of the challenge to talk about all of it.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story!


Pingy-Dingy Wednesday — Black Girl Dangerous: Amplifying the Voices of Queer and Trans People of Color

I am incredibly grateful for Mia McKenzie’s work. Every white person should read BGD, not to horn in or co-opt, but to find ways of starting and continuing conversations with other white people and in our own souls so we can act better, so we can help rather than hinder. A reader-funded, non-profit project, Black Girl Dangerous: Amplifying the Voices of Queer and Trans People of Color, consistently discusses with brilliance and heart issues of queerness and race, oppression, self-care, joyous living and so much more: it is a work of love, of creativity, of outside-the-box thinking and of community. Buy BGD Press books, donate to the website, bring BGD founder, Mia McKenzie to your school or organization to kick you into deeper understanding of intersectionality! And, on the heels of last week’s Pingy-Dingy Wednesday, read Kai Minosh’s incredible BGD post, Why Non-Native Appropriating “Two-Spirit” Hurts.

BGD, you get one pingy-dingy!

I’m a typewriter whompin’, card catalogue lovin’ white girl from back in the day, and I yearn for a time before the covers of trade paperbacks were all squidgy, so you can imagine that I don’t actually understand what a pingback is. I do know that it can in some way be part of spreading the love, and since that’s what I’m all about at The Total Femme… every Wednesday, I pay homage to the laughter and inspiration to be had elsewhere online.


Femme Friday – Femme Klatsch with, moi! The Total Femme

Femme Klatsch is where queer femmes chat with one another on all themes femme. Sweet femme sisters – chime in!

 What does femme mean to you?

Who are your femme role models?

How did you find your femme?

and today’s question:

What sustains your femme?

One of the things that sustains my femme and that opens up big queer space for me to be my most sincere and truthful femme self, is the inspiration of other queers who are really-oh, truly-oh themselves, in all their queer glory. It really, really helps if they have a good sense of humor, too. For example, Tex and I recently attended the yearly fundraiser, ClimACTS, for Theater Offensive. The memory of founder and executive artistic director Abe Rybeck in a truly tremendous neon outfit, waving and blowing kisses as he was carried onto stage by two scantily clad fellas while another hunky number in ass-less pants serenaded him with Italian opera will sustain me unto my dying day.

Queer story sustains my femme. Whether it’s in a book, like Juliet Takes a Breath by Gaby Rivera, or observed, like watching Michelle, the current owner of Womencrafts in Provincetown both honor the history of the store as well as honor the political complexity of today’s queer world, or told to me directly, like the stories I hear from the QSA members or from other femmes — I need queer story almost as much as I need to breathe.

Coalition building and intersectionalty sustain my femme. My straight colleagues and friends model how I can be a better ally, show me how to recognize my privilege and wear it with a sense of humor and responsibility. The National Day of Mourning is a holy day for me. My femme is sustained when I brainstorm and discuss with other queers about strengthening our organizing by asking hard questions about race or disability, for example. My femme is sustained when I hear from a straight colleague with new information about our ongoing struggle to get our town to deal with its Native American town symbol. Attending Creating Change sustained the fuck out of my femme.

My femme is sustained by the love of my butch.

My femme is sustained when my new femme friend and I machinate to take over the world.

My femme is sustained by this blog, and by hearing from you.

Deep gratitude to all of you in all of your queer and fabulous variety!

 Every Friday, The Total Femme showcases a queer femme goddess. Suggestions welcome!