Meditations for Queer Femmes – One-Minute Practice

Just in the nick of time, Constance Clare-Newman came through as my guest femme this Monday, as I am running on the fumes of fumes… Many thanks to Constance for her care of and love for queer femmes — me included! — and for her wisdom of body, mind and spirit!

Pleasure, not Perfection – a One-Minute Practice by Constance Clare-Newman

We all deal with the instinctive fight/flight /freeze pattern to some extent every day. Whether it comes from deadlines, too much traffic, noisy neighbors or from internal expectations of perfection, this contractive pattern is a human reaction.

If we can bring our habitual reaction of tightening and contracting into our awareness, then we can take a moment to pause, to rest in acceptance, and then to choose another response.

We can choose something more effective, more balanced, which also happens to be more pleasurable. Pleasure in stillness and in movement can often be a guide toward efficiency, and grace.

As you read this, ask yourself—Can I let my head balance with delicacy at the top of my spine? Can I let the floor (and chair) really support me? Can I sense my whole back? Can I allow my torso to respond three-dimensionally to my breath? Would a smidgen of internal mobility feel good in this stillness?

(If you answer no to these questions, it is time to take a break! If you can take 20 minutes, listen to this:  )

If you answer yes, what else would feel good?

How about releasing my hands into spaciousness, even as I type or mouse? Letting my eyes, mouth, jaw soften? How about taking a couple of seconds to let my deepest values come into my awareness?

As you move into other daily tasks, can you let that movement be pleasurable? Ask yourself—What pace would feel good right now? Can I hold my pen (or cup, or tool, or instrument) with a little less effort? If so, can I sense how it creates ease elsewhere in myself? If I give up my pre-conceived idea of perfect posture or form, and rather, invite a pleasurable balance, what does that do? What would it be like to stay connecting with ease and grace and pleasure even in the challenging moments?

More “One-Minute Practices” here:

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)


Published in: on May 21, 2018 at 9:33 PM  Comments (3)  
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