Who is the Total Femme?

Back in the day, on butch-femme.com, there were lots of conversations in the threads about the exact nature of femmes, and I know the conversation continues today in many other venues. There are high femmes and low femmes and everything inbetween. People get grumpy and split a lot of hairs; people also laugh at themselves and become more at ease as they talk about their identity, often evolving, often surprising.

When I first came out to myself as a femme, I spent a lot of time agonizing over whether or not I was “the right kind.” I knew I wasn’t a high femme, since the most makeup I ever do is lipstick and I’m a big fan of comfy clothes and shoes. My butch husband lovingly suggested “messy femme” since I’m not exactly the neatest person on earth. But really, lately I just feel like a total femme. Everything about me is femme, and I am femme on both my most frumpy and most fabulous days. I am femme when I’m cooking dinner for my family, and femme when I’m out in queer society.

I am definitely the right kind — at ease with myself, at ease in the world. Totally.

Published on October 29, 2008 at 3:37 PM  Leave a Comment  

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