Meditations for Queer Femmes — Queer Care

I was lucky enough this winter to be able to spend a lot of time in Provincetown, where I rented a lesbian-owned condo for a few months. Backed up onto the cemetery with a view of the monument and the big open sky, this lovely spot held me and fed me as I wrote and reflected and wrote some more. A young gay man rented the small basement unit below me, and we shared the washer and drier, texting each other politely now and then. I loved how every few days he cared for himself by cooking a delicious, hearty meal, the rich smells drifting up my stairs.

I walked everywhere, every day. Down to the bay to see the water birds, the light on the water, the tide coming in and going out. Over to the Beech Forrest, where moss and lichen glow and where later there will be mushrooms. Along the bike path into the silent dunes, past pockets of cranberry bog. One morning it started to rain as I was coming back from the rail trail, trucking along the street to my condo, pretty much resigned to getting wet. Ahead of me, a butch was putting out her trash, and I admired her cuffed jeans and cute bowling shoes. She’d had the foresight to bring an umbrella, I noticed. As I drew up alongside her, I realized she was waiting for me.

“Would you like to borrow my umbrella?” she asked, smiling. “You could just bring it back later – I live right here.”

Shy, surprised, I politely declined, thanking her and saying how refreshing the rain was. We wished each other a good day and off we went. I smiled and smiled as I walked home, enjoying the feeling of being seen cared for by another queer.

We have found so many ways to care for each other, we sweet alphabet soup people. Lesbian-owned land where you can go for respite. Nods on the street: I see you and if you need something, ask me. The bars and cafes and neighborhoods; clinics, support groups, and clubs. All of Provincetown. When I was younger, just coming out into the astounding realization of my queer power, I used to fool myself that I could make all the world come to me, adapt to me, share with me. That can happen, but golly does it take a lot of energy and can so often end in heartbreak. How much more satisfying and strengthening to show up for queer community and send out love where love will be reciprocated.

Dear, dear, dear queer femmes, how I treasure your presence in my queer world. How you enrich the very fabric. How grateful I am for your wisdom and creativity and whimsy and perseverance and delightfulness. Thank you for your nourishing food, your offers of shelter and caring, your laughter, your marvelous company.

I am so grateful for your queer care today.

Published in: on April 18, 2022 at 8:58 AM  Leave a Comment  
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