Femme Friday – tatiana de la tierra again!!

This January I received a beautiful gift out of the blue: Aileen Ochoa (bio below) reached out to me about a previous Femme Friday. Way back in 2017, I blogged about tataniana de la tierra (1961-2012) who was a dear friend of Aileen’s. Aileen wanted to share a recording of tatiana reading the poem I quoted in the post, “Big Fat Pussy Girl.”  She also sent me photos and a letter from tatiana’s mother about her amazing daughter, which I am posting today – a bit of a jump on Mother’s Day, but I couldn’t wait! I will be posting more about tatiana in coming weeks, so get ready for some juicy, sexy, gorgeous Femme Fridays, my darlings!

Deep gratitude to Aileen for reaching out and sharing more about your dear friend. Deep gratitude and love to tatiana’s Mother, Fabiola, for her gorgeous, brave, heartfelt, and beautifully generous letter. Continued and utter gratitude to tatiana for her hot, beautiful, layered, fabulous writing!

The Gift: My Lesbian Daughter

by Fabiola Restrepo, tatiana de la tierra’s mom

(originally published in Spanish as “El regalo” in 1992 in the latina lesbian magazine esto no tiene nombre. Shared also in la Bloga.

Mother’s Day passed and left me thinking about the mothers and daughters who didn’t celebrate it. I think of the mother who let intolerance close her heart in pain and of the daughter who suffers from the rejection. I know the wall this mother builds is made of silence and fear and answers that are not accepted or searched for from within. I know this wall will separate her from her daughter to the end.

When my daughter’s umbilical cord was cut I was fortunate to understand that it was merely a physical separation and that what would unite us later, stronger than a band of fleshy fiber, would be love, mutual respect, understanding, and acceptance. When I found out that my daughter was a lesbian I felt confusion and pain. I knew this was more than a word or a way of. life. I knew how hard society is against this group of people. I knew they were discriminated against and even persecuted at times. I knew this because these attitudes are the ones that I had felt toward homosexuals all my life.

Little by little, without much desire but with great curiosity, I began to learn, to try to understand what it means to be a homosexual. I’ve only know my daughter’s lesbian world. She is a feminist who embraces woman-related issues, including history, submission, and subjugation. She even fights for women’s rights, including the right to abort, which I don’t agree with.

She was one of the editors of the latina lesbian magazines esto no tiene nombre and conmoción (published in Miami, 1990-1996). Her articles were controversial. She is atrevida, daring in the choice of her material. I don’t like some of the things she writes about, like sadomasochism. But I admire her style of writing. And I like her way of delving into irreverent themes, as she does in the poem “The Day I Learned to Pray” and her poem about women with beards. She even lets her own facial hair grow without shaving or bleaching it, which is something that people, including me, don’t like to see or read about.

In other words, we have differences between us, some of them deep. I am Christian, and she is pagan. She doesn’t accept God or Jesus. For me, Christianity is more than a belief. I life my religion. For me, a mother’s love is like God’s love, unconditional above all. I am proud of her and everything she has accomplished in her life, of what she is as a woman and as a person. She had the courage to step forward when many, out of fear, have stayed in the closet, and through esto no tiene nombre and conmoción she has supported her community.

My daughter was born on an early Sunday on Mother’s Day and God knows why she was given to me on such a special day. Since then I’ve been given fine, luxurious gifts, but none of them have every equaled her.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you (or your friend)! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story! If you’ve written a femme story or poem or song, oh, please let me post it!

Published in: on March 19, 2021 at 12:28 PM  Leave a Comment  
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