The Total Femme

I don’t drive much these days, and today, whilst dropping off some queer books for my dear queer friend, my car died. Neighbors were called upon, and one of them came through with a charger. After trying to get him to tell me what kind of cookies he likes so I could drop off a gratitude gift (he demurred, so bashful), I decided to take the ol’ Femmemobile for a nice long drive to fatten up her battery, so off we went, onto the highway, tirra lee, tirra loo.

At one point, we passed a sign reading “Ahead”. Nothing more, just “Ahead”.

Yes, and isn’t it the truth? So much mystery is ahead of us. There is nothing really to guide us but our own wit and wiles, the wisdom we’ve picked up along the way, and our ability to situate ourselves as comfily as possible in the ever-ticking present.

I’ve lived in this area a long time. When Seth was a baby, he wouldn’t nap unless I put him in the previous Femmemobile and drove. Without quite meaning to, I found myself retracing our old Nappy Drive Route. It seemed like a good time to send him my love and my prayers.

I’ve lived in my body for nigh on 59 years. I’m still learning to listen to, cherish, celebrate, care for. Out there on the highway, pocketa pocketa, it seemed like a good time to look inside and send myself my love and prayers.

I don’t know what’s ahead for Seth, for me, for the two of us, or for you, dearest femme sisters. I know you are managing and negotiating through these almost-Solstice days, handling everything from disasters to miracles. I am so glad to be in your company, and to know there’s a femme bond that connects us as we carry on. And just about now seems like an excellent time for me to send you my love and prayers.

You wonderfuls, you beautifuls, you marvels!

Here we go!

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)