It’s been a while since I’ve shared some of the usually-incomprehensible notes I write to myself on bits of paper, and since I’ve been decluttering and clearing out, I’ve come across a lot of them lately. For example:
equality ploy – “I kill off straight victims, too –”
vice & sleazy
slowing down – traffic rules
and breathing? So impt. (illegible) summers – For youth & adults; What is the next iteration of queer community sans the secret handshake? What do we count on each other for, expect of each other?
This gross feeling of justification – see? It’s really bad. I’m justified in stepping out of it all “It feels foul & yet – I couldn’t stay in.
Patti Smith? “Faith and Grace” “All I need is a little” made me cry. Playlist of rock and roll God albums. In my heart I’m a rock & roll hippy child. Queers in town: bathe in our music, our culture here at home – not in a bar, only in Ptown, have to go elsewhere to get –
and finally:
stretch and Bend – husband not doing it right – ratatouille
Oh, we have so many ideas, don’t we, my lovelies? So many projects, all going at once, in so many areas of our lives. Physical, artistic, spiritual, for money, for love, this responsibility, this hidden or not-so-hidden dream… And it all comes bubbling up like a spring, never stopping, always replenishing, always there is something more. If I lost all my bits and pieces, I would still keep having my interesting, quirky, silly, goofy thoughts, some to follow up on and some just for fun.
Today, dear sisters, revel in your beautiful ideas, the ones that come to fruition and the ones that don’t – they are all part of your unique and precious gift to our wounded world. And if you’ve a mind and a little time, send some of your bits and pieces along! I would love to see them and share in the bounty!
Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, kind, and wise and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.
At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) As I recover from treatment for breast cancer, however, I’m just going to post whenever I can manage.