I am not in the thick of it. For the past year, I’ve had one clear goal: heal from breast cancer. Already, my world had been circumscribed, and now this. And yet, all my study as a white woman learning about racism, my organizing work, knowledge, experience, compassion, desire for connection – none of that has disappeared.
Connection is so important right now. As is acknowledging grief. I know that when I pass over grief and explode into anger and a yelling, accusatory, “Let’s fix this right now and also, let’s find someone to blame!” attitude, the results are never satisfactory or long lasting.
So I may not be in the thick of it, but I am present. Where might my voice make a difference? How can I be gentle with myself so that I can stay with this work for the long run and ensure that my deepening understanding is communicated in my art, in everything I do? How can I invite into conversation rather than condemn out of hand potential allies and other white people who are also lost and grieving?
These and other hard and relevant questions occupy me today and will continue to do so, because I am in it for life. With gratitude and love for all of you, for all that you do, I am yours in the struggle.
Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story! If you’ve written a femme story or poem or song, oh, please let me post it!
New Femme Friday feature starting spring 2020: Queer Femmes Respond. Are you reading more poetry? Are you navigating various technologies in order to see your folx and not be so isolated? Are you still going out to work? Are you able to get out for walks? Who’s home with you? We queer femmes are meeting these unsettling times with queer femme panache, and I want to hear about it! Along the lines of the Corona Letters over at the Sewanee Review, please send in what you’re doing, how you’re staying centered and sane! Write me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com with questions or ideas or a full-on post (with bio, if possible)!
At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) As I recover from treatment for breast cancer, however, I’m just going to post whenever I can manage.
The Total Femme 