Queer Femmes Respond

A little over two weeks ago, I gave an Al-Anon friend a big squeeze after the meeting. Now that meeting is via technology, and that hug might be the last one for a very long time with anyone other than my butch husband. So hard to get my head around this! I miss physical contact with people! I’m just one of those touch-feely femmes…

But a friend of mine on the autism spectrum is loving all the video chatting – they say it’s such a relief not to have to look directly into someone’s eyes in order to talk and connect. Another friend says he’s cleaned the whole house and is making his way through his To Be Read pile, blowing the dust off as he goes.

No question that this whole thing is terrifying. But we can keep each other company, and I’m wondering what we can share with each other about how we’re getting through it.

One thing that’s positive for me is that I’m talking to my mom way more than I did before all this. She’s in an assisted living facility, and there are no visitors allowed. I call her every day, sometimes as many as three times, and it’s very comforting to hear the blow by blow of what’s going on there for her as she fields all the changes in routine. I can also tell how comforting it is for her to hear my voice, even if we just run over the same territory we ran over the last time I called. It helps both of us be present and be accepting of the present.

Sweetest scrumptious darlings, what are you doing these every days? What is making you smile and helping you carry on? How are you managing? Call in! I want to hear your dear voices.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story! If you’ve written a femme story or poem or song, oh, please let me post it! New Femme Friday feature starting spring 2020: Queer Femmes Respond. Are you reading more poetry? Are you navigating various technologies in order to see your folx and not be so isolated? Are you still going out to work? Are you able to get out for walks? Who’s home with you? We queer femmes are meeting these unsettling times with queer femme panache, and I want to hear about it! Along the lines of the Corona Letters over at the Sewanee Review, please send in what you’re doing, how you’re staying centered and sane! Write me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com with questions or ideas or a full-on post (with bio, if possible)!

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) As I undergo treatment for breast cancer, however, I’m just going to post whenever I can manage.


Published in: on March 27, 2020 at 3:10 PM  Leave a Comment  

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