Femme Friday – The Femme You Love

The femme you love, you’ve never met her. She wrote one of the most treasured books on your bookshelf, though.

The femme you love smiled at you at the lesbian event way back in the day, when you and she were the only dykes there wearing lipstick and skirts, and when the flannel shirt dykes were giving you the hairy eyeball. Later, you ran into her at the library and got shushed so many times by the librarian that you had to take it to a local café and now you’re best friends.

The femme you love is dedicated to her art and you celebrate together at her exhibit. She uplifts you. She reminds you to recommit to your own art, your own beautiful and unique queer femme gift.

The femme you love went through a rocky patch in her relationship. You listened and sympathized. You felt honored to have her to cry on your shoulder.

The femme you love cooks you dinner when you were sick.

The femme you love supports your career and understands how infuriating it is to be a queer femme in the workplace, faced with misogyny, homophobia, and heteronormativism. The two of you commiserate together every week when you get together and bake cookies.

The femme you love bakes cookies like a genius.

The femme you love helps you foment revolution.

The femme you love makes mistakes, and there are times when the two of you need a break from each other. Even after years, though, when you get back together (and you always do), it’s like you’d seen each other just yesterday. You pick up right where you left off.

The femme you love makes you laugh harder than anyone.

The femme you love lives really far away and you hardly ever see her, but knowing she’s living her large and in charge best queer femme life way over there makes you happy every day.

The femme you love is a healer and a poet.

The femme you love died before you were born, but her influence on your life is profound, and you are so grateful.

The femme you love challenges you and argues with you and wraps you up in her big, huge, adoring personality. You can trust her with anything.

The femme you love loves you just as much as you love her. You can’t imagine life without her.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story! If you’ve written a femme story or poem or song, oh, please let me post it! New Femme Friday feature starting fall 2018: Books from which queer femmes can draw inspiration. What are your trusted sources of light and love? Please share!

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)





Published in: on October 11, 2019 at 2:11 PM  Comments (6)  
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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ahh… this rings so true! Especially the part about the flannel shirt dykes. I distinctly remember trying to find clothes that weren’t too girly, and feeling like a fraud! Thank goodness for those femmes I came to love!

  2. Oh! I forgot one! “The femme you love is a neighbor and a friend…” Thanks so much for stopping by! xottf

  3. Awwww! So beautiful and uplifting and joyous! U forgot another one: “The femme I love writes about femmes every week, and raises us up so high, we femmes become giddy with loving our fierce femme selves..”

  4. Lovely
    Thanks 😊 💃🏻🌈❤️

  5. You are a treasure! Thank you! I feel like this post could go on forever, don’t you? Sooooo many femmes to love!!! xottf

  6. Hugs and kisses from waaaaay across the world! xottf

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