Meditations for Queer Femmes – Lesbian Bed Death

Remember the cartoon from the 90s where two lesbians are fucking so hard that the bed breaks, and the title is “Lesbian Bed Death”? Was it by Jennifer Camper? Fish? We couldn’t quite track it down, but I thought it would be a cute title for a recent reading and discussion of lesbian smut at Womencrafts in Provincetown. How wonderful that this mostly tongue-in-cheek idea turned into something sublime: an evening of sharing lesbian stories.

There were 10 of us sitting in a circle in this store, holy lesbian ground, ages ranging from 40 on up. We began by opening up discussion on LBD – is it a thing? Do we still need to talk about it? We heard from one of the older dykes about discussions and workshops held at the Michigan Womyn’s Festival; we talked about varying levels of hormones and energy and the effects on our libidos; about the ins and outs of dating these online days; we touched on the long history of butch/femme and other topics of lesbian sexuality. Then I read one of my stories and we talked some more.

We smiled at each other as we talked and listened, and we laughed a lot. It was intimate, cozy and oh so dyke-y. There were shortbread cookies in the shape of pussies and as we were winding up, I blew bubbles of protection over everyone (given to me by a Radical Faerie at the Radical Faerie Heart Circle last year).

The evening started out on a slightly tentative note, but as we warmed to each other, it was as if we were all remembering and trusting again what it’s like to experience this kind of connection. It was the willingness to be open to the energy in the room, to trust and to be honest about our pasts, our questions, our sexualities, even if just for a couple of hours, that made the event so special. For all our different histories, we made room for each other. I was facilitating and also reading, but this did not feel like a work gig for me, it felt like home.

Today sweet femme sisters, remember what it feels like to have respectful and loving queer conversation. To feel held and honored by other queers – not because you’re just like them, but because your story adds to their stories and together we make queer history. Remember what it feels like to reconnect to your queer soul in the company of other queer souls.

May your lives be graced with this precious respite.

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)



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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Awwww! Wonderful. I’m so glad you and Womencrafts did this! Sounds so good.

  2. OMG i feel such a yearning in me after reading this to have been there! It’s exactly what I’m missing, and Australia is so less-populated, it’s hard to find events like this except in a big city during a specific queer festival. *sighs I wish I could have been there so much. Well done to all of you for connecting and sharing time together xx G

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