Meditations for Queer Femmes — Looking for Femme

In the haiku spirit of my dear friend Bill over at View From the Mantelpiece, here are a few queer femme musings in an era where the term FEMME has been popping up everywhere, even on mall t-shirts.

are you a real femme?

everyone has been asking

lovers and others


define femme for me

I can’t tell you where to look

or who really knows


my femme or your femme

our heartbeats so out of synch



the question lingered

answers came sporadically

femme growing older


unraveling femme

like a tisket a tasket

go deeper, go hard


funny you should ask

in the 90s I was so

cock sure of my femme

Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)