The Total Femme

Wanda Sykes, an out black lesbian comedian, was booed off the stage at a venerated comedy event in Boston Saturday night, one that raises millions of dollars for a cancer charity. The event has been running for 22 years, and has surely seen worse than what Wanda unleashed, and in fact did, after she’d left when another comedian made rape jokes. He got laughs, not boos. Can I get a “Fuck you, motherfucker, fuck all of y’all!”?

For Wanda, I was up at 4:30 this morning, finishing an Op Ed for the local paper entitled, “Local Community Support More Important Than Ever”.

For Wanda, I am taking care of my queer body by exercising and not eating as much candy nor drinking as much wine as the situation actually warrants.

For Wanda, I am speaking up because I have a platform and the privilege to do so, and many, many do not.

For Wanda, I am smiling at my neighbors, even the one with the “Congratulations, President Trump!” sign. He used to coach my son in baseball, and his wife and I talk all the time about our dogs. Of course, I’m smiling at him.

For Wanda, I am showing up because I’m mentally and physically healthy enough to do so, and many, many are not.

For Wanda, I am strongly recommitting to the work I have been doing to support local LGBTQ+ youth, to continue to brainstorm and research how best to give them the kinds of events and education they need in order to grow up healthy and strong.

For Wanda, I am writing children’s books, where the children live full, creative lives as members of queer families.

For Wanda, I am writing queer smut, where the queer characters fully inhabit their gorgeous, queer sexualities and get up to all kinds of wonderful queer things.

For Wanda, I have recommitted to writing a blog post at least once a week, and to highlighting a beloved femme on every Femme Friday.

For Wanda, I am out at work.

For Wanda, I am holding my queer friends and community in my heart and reaching out to them to let them know that I love them.

For Wanda, I am listening to my queer friends and community when they reach out to me and tell me that they love me.

For Wanda, I am not listening to the voices outside me and within, that tell me I can never do enough, that I’m not good enough, that my work and love will have no effect.

For Wanda, I am making sure the dog gets nice long walks, and the cat gets all the lap time he requires.

For Wanda, I am singing, playing the piano, reading and writing.

For Wanda, I do my best to be humble, patient, creative and wise in the face of the parenting challenges and joys of being the mom to two dearly-loved young white men.

For Wanda, I am devoting my all to the love of my life, Tex, to make sure our marriage survives, thrives and is dressed always in glorious glitter.

For Wanda, I am paying attention to spreading love in every aspect of my life.

For Wanda, and for you.