Yesterday, Owen came home and got in my lap where I was sitting reading in the big red chair. We had a chat about the evil standardized test that he’d completed that day in school, he told me about the dog-walking extravaganza he’d just gone on with 2 friends from school, their dogs, and our dog. I asked him about his friend, Jason, who he’s been hanging out with a lot. Owen has told us that he’s not allowed to go into Jason’s house after school and that they can only play outside. We found this rather odd, so I asked him if he’d gone into Jason’s house that afternoon. He said he had, and they’d eaten snack: a banana dipped in chocolate, which explained the state of his chin. He said, “It’s fine, Mom, Jason just asks his sister not to tell, and we’re just in there for a little bit to eat snack.”

“Oh, are you not supposed to go in there because there aren’t any parents around?” I inquired, and he allowed as to how that was probably so. We talked about having Jason come over here instead of violating parental decree, and he thought that would be all right.

“What’s his sister like?” I asked. Jason is a bit of a piece of work, and I wondered.

“She’s all right. She’s kind of nice. Only she thinks ‘gay’ is an insult.”

“Really? Did you tell her you have close personal family who’s gay?”

“I was going to, Mom, but Jason did before me. He said, ‘Owen’s mom is gay, and it’s perfectly all right.’ And anyway, if she thinks gay is an insult, she’s gay.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she thinks you’re gay if you like someone of your same gender, so she says me and Jason are gay because we like each other, but she has friends who are girls so by her definition, she must be gay.”


“She always talks in a British accent, too.”

Right. Meanwhile, Seth is deep in the closet about having gay moms and has asked if my Beau and I could reschedule our wedding so that he could go to a friend’s Bar Mitzvah that’s, alas, on the same day.

Tonight is the annual fifth grade dance and social. Two years ago, I was driving Seth and four of his friends (many of whom are named Sam), to this dance. They were all slicked up and excited, suddenly ready to be in middle school and play boy/girl games. This evening, I was driving Owen and another boy on his soccer team to and from practice, there having been no interest evinced in the dance, and the two of them were talking about how awesome it would be to, say, hide behind a tree until your friend walked by, then jump out and scream, “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” and then, under cover of your friend’s great surprise at this action, to sneakily pull out your water gun and squirt them with the fart juice you’d previously filled said water gun with.

Two boys, two ways of being in the world. One lucky Mom.

Published in: on May 21, 2010 at 11:19 AM  Leave a Comment  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: