Chicken-Like Soup for the Old School Femme Mom with Two Sons, Divorced from a Regular Lesbian, Now Affianced to an Old School Butch, Living in the Suburbs and Driving a Broke-Down 10-Year Old Minivan Soul*

When the boys are at their other mom’s like they are now  (we share custody), I am always sad. Sometimes sobbing sad, sometimes weepy sad, and sometimes just sad behind my eyes and in my heart.

Just now I was upstairs making Seth’s bed, and I realized how much it helps to be in his room, smoothing wrinkles out of his sheets and making sure his bed is cozy and inviting for when he gets into it tomorrow night. Neatening up in his room also helps, but I try not to go crazy, because he likes things to stay kind of messy and friendly. Owen, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind if I neaten up, and that helps feel me better (as baby Seth used to say) when they’re at Anne’s (my ex and their other mom).

Making a menu with my Beau and laying in supplies for the time the boys are with us also helps – it cements into place the fact that they will be here soon, under our care.

Researching summer camps (even though it’s a time suck) keeps me connected to them.

Making appointments with guidance counselors and teachers, keeping track of sports games, even if we’re not going – all of that helps.

But the bottom line is that the boys are elsewhere just about half of the time, and that is always going to be a heartbreak. Is one of these chicken soup things supposed to end on a cheery note? If so, too bad. Divorce is not cheery, at least not when it comes to the kids involved (it’s cheery that I no longer have to live with Anne, very cheery indeed!). It sucks. Divorce really, really sucks. And I miss my babies. Damn it.

*#1, New York Times Best Seller List for 15 months straight

Published in: on October 18, 2009 at 10:11 AM  Leave a Comment  

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