The Total Femme

I just saw on Mombian about the Write to Marry Day, and am thinking maybe I can squeak in and write a little something on the tail end of the more than 400 posts about Prop 8 in California.

I was never married to my ex, because at the time it wasn’t legal in MA. 5 years after our “divorce” (that wasn’t legal either), we’re mired in divorce and custody issues and I have finally taken the step to involve lawyers so that we can come up with an equitable parenting/divorce plan. When we split, we didn’t have any kind of help or direction from the court about custody, child support, health care issues, tax issues, or what have you, and in the agony of having to explain to our 2 sons what was happening and trying to protect them from our adult crap, we just went along for years, reinventing the wheel and trying to “work things out.” When I slowly began to realize how unfair our arrangement was, I was relieved to know that there are lawyers here very well-versed in LGBT family matters, and that I could get help.

And when we finally get some protective papers in place for our two sons, I am planning to get married. After surviving several years of a long distance relationship, my Butch Beau and I now live together, in the house where my boys have lived their entire lives. (Now they split the time between this house and their other mom’s house.) As much as my fiance and I are in love, you’d better believe we’re going to have a pre-nup and that all the papers are going to be in order before we tie the knot. Marriage — and divorce — is not to be taken lightly, and we’re going to give it the respect and attention it deserves. We are so lucky to live in a state where marriage is legal for all its citizens.

Please vote no on Prop 8 if you live in CA, and do what you can to help defeat it if you don’t.

We need to be able to marry — and yes, to divorce — legally, safely, and with dignity.