Yesterday Tex and I were walking the dog around a local pond (that’s “lake” to you non-New Englanders) and got behind a couple of younger people for a while who were pretty deep into an organ recital worthy of the older gals playing mah johng at the senior center or, ahem, the two of us. We looked at each other and agreed that they were way too young for that, but geez, everyone has aches and pains and this-es and thats that plague them. If those two needed to pump the pedals and pound the keys, well. Maybe sometimes a primal scream of FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! is healthy rather than self-indulgent or negligent or rude or whatever else we say to ourselves to underestimate and stuff our pain.
My last post was definitely one of those sweary-mclarry-fuck-everything-I-hate-my-life-fuck-fuck-fuck blurps, and even though I have had a few poster’s regret moments, I have to say I felt a bit better getting it all out there in writing for others to see. Grumpy, put-upon, touchy, fretty, can-take-it-no-more valient and striving adorable darling femme sisters out there, et tu, et tu?
We aren’t supposed to be angry. We aren’t supposed to give up. We are supposed to turn our fucking frowns upside down and all that. Back in the 70s we were taught about warm fuzzies (good) and cold pricklies (bad). How can an emotion be bad? No bad dogs, no bad emotions! Just part of the daily nitty gritty down and dirty, and we get through, we lean in, we let it all wash over us and move like tides and stars and geological stuff that is all about being absolutely positively an integral part of these complex natural systems that circle and embrace.
So today, my beloveds, ignore the messages about how to be a good person, I mean the ones that deny you some emotions and push unduly other emotions, and revel in it. I’m not saying don’t get help and support if you need it around depression or anxiety, not saying that at all. Just asking us all to think about emotion hierarchy and reject it with impunity.
I love every gnarly bit of you just as much as the yummy crunchy bits! Bathe in your own gorgeous, complex, mysterious, layered, deeeeeelicious and unique femme life energy oh, thank the universe for you, sisters, sweet ones, angels!!
Many a Monday I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.
Do you have a meditation to share? I would love to welcome you here! Email me at: thetotalfemme@gmail.com
The Total Femme 