There’s a very useful expression in French that translates roughly to, “well, that’s exactly what one can expect from someone of that age.”
As in, observing a 2-year old asking why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? or saying no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! you might shake your head knowingly (and possibly with great fatigue) and say, “Ah, mais c’est de son age.”
I like that expression for so many reasons. It connects people one to the other, it situates the behavior in a larger context and helps you regroup and reconsider – in Al-Anon we would say that it right-sizes things – and it’s just so calming. We’re all part of the human network and subject to all things human. Goes around, comes around. We’re not alone.
Having recently turned 63, I’ve been thinking about my age. What is particular, peculiar, revolutionary, unique, mysterious, advantageous, bizarre, freaky, miraculous de mon age? Unlike for toddlers or teenagers, there isn’t a loosly-agreed-upon idea of how a 63-year old should act. Some of us are hotsy-totsy swinging singles, some of us are widows, some of us are dealing with some serious health shit (and maybe also hotsy-totsy swinging singles), some of us have old parents, some of us are just barely scraping it together, some of us are at the height of our careers, some of us have permanent dirt under our fingernails and can usually be found out in the garden.
In other words, we get to say.
Sugar blossoms, sisters, sacred, harmonious, questioning, stepping lightly, tripping up and getting up and getting up again, rustling, shimmering, going with the flow and burbling mightily upstream my darlings, what are you, right now, at your age?
What is special, what can you do that you couldn’t used to do, what don’t you do that you used to do and it wasn’t that great for you, how are you dancing, spinning, bravely singing your time this year?
Let’s ponder together today. Let’s pool our wisdom, our imagination, our love, our glorious queerness.
C’est de notre age.
Every Monday, I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.
At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday, and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) And…as I go through life life life, I will post as I am able, Mabel.
The Total Femme 