The Total Femme

This is a blog all about building, exploring, and honoring queer femme community. However you do that, wherever you do that, whoever you do that with, I want to know about it and sing your praises!

Today’s featured femme is Constance, a femme of many talents, including fearlessness. One Women’s Week in Provincetown a bunch of us queer femmes wanted to get together and talk amongst ourselves. We also wanted to have a butch/femme mixer. It was so much fun! One of my favorite memories is of Constance effortlessly stopping likely couples on the street and asking, “Do you identify as butch/femme?” If it was a yes, they got an invite! If it was a no, oh well. Next!

I’m so happy to feature Constance today, with one of her beautiful, grounding reminders of all we hold and all that holds us.

Deep gratitude to Constance for her fearless commitment to the health of all bodies, the upholding of the joy and wonder of the natural world, and the healing power of art and movement.

One-Minute Practice: Be Centered Like a Tree

Dearest femmes, What is your favorite kind of tree? Being from California, I love oaks and eucalyptus. Spending time in the desert, I love palms. When I’m in Provincetown, I love the beech forest. Such beautiful diversity, and also, some perfect commonalities.

For this practice, which is different from the tree pose in yoga, choose any tree you love and picture it in your mind’s eye. 
 
What are it’s roots like? Down into the earth they go, searching for water. How deep they go, or how much they spread, may be different, but they are all going into the ground and looking for water. Imagine your own feet, releasing through the surface of your floor into the earth below you. Spreading out, going deep for the flow. Your legs can follow your feet by undoing any upward holding, and instead releasing down through your feet into the earth below.
 
What is the trunk of your favorite tree like? Thick and solid, or long and moving in the breeze? All tree trunks have a three-dimensional roundness with fluid inside. All trees sway, even if only a little. We, too, have three dimensional torsos around a long spine that has fluid inside. As bi-peds, not four-leggeds, we are meant to sway and be very mobile. We are not meant to be held “up straight,” like a pole, or be set into place like building blocks. Can you sense your whole torso being allowed to move easily while staying long and spacious in your spine? It can be delightful to let yourself sway around on top of your rooting feet, or if sitting, on top of your sit bones.
 
Oak trees have such a beautiful broad canopy, and we might not even see the top. But we know they are flowing up toward the sun. All tree-tops look for the sun, and we can imagine our heads floating delicately up toward the sky and connecting with the light up there.
 
And the branches, O the branches! Let your arms float upward as you visualize your favorite tree. Play with how it’s branches move in a gentle breeze. Allow your shoulder blades, collar bones and ribs to move with your arms, while including the sway of your torso/trunk.
 
When you let your arms come down, continue to allow mobility for your shoulder area and ribs. The weight of your arm branches can be light and lively. There is no need to hold your shoulders anywhere—they balance easily on top of your ribs, which are moving gently on top of your lungs and diaphragm with breath. Notice how allowing ease and lightness, like tree tops, encourages full easy breath. 

Notice how as we release down into the earth, and flow up toward the sky, with our three-dimensional torso, we are tuning into our connection with our own body and the bodies of our favorite trees.

No matter what happens in the world, being centered like a tree is always accessible.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you or someone you love! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story! If you’ve written a femme story or poem or song, oh, please let me post it!

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday, and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…if it’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”) And…as I go life life life, I will post as I am able, Mabel.