I have a friend, a lesbian – let’s call her Roadie – who loves doing stuff for people and causes but hates being in the spotlight. All her hard work, be it cooking, cleaning, or fixing things, is done without fanfare or call for recognition. A couple of theater queen friends of hers gave her a nickname. They call her Back of the House.
Recently, I found a mention of my town in a local queer magazine. The mention was part of an article on upcoming Pride events, and of the queer organizations listed for my town, I think four or five, I’d either founded or had a hand in founding the majority. It was an interesting feeling, seeing them listed in the publication, all official and shit, knowing I’d helped open that space and make it sustainable so that it’s now part of the fabric of the town, supporting and uplifting local queers.
And certainly the current 6th graders going to the middle school Queer/Straight Alliance have absolutely no clue who I am or that I helped kids their age start one of the region’s first public middle school GSAs way back when (the kids quickly changed it to a QSA). That’s ok – why should they, really? I do think it would good to have some kind of history in the town records at some point, and have that in mind to compile one of these days, not because I want credit necessarily but to record this very productive instance of queer organizing in the suburbs.
But I’m not so back of the house that I wouldn’t be happy with a smidge of recognition here and again. Ha! as my dear old aunt used to say (waaaay before emojis).
There is queer femme energy everywhere, my tiddly winks, my ever-so-scrumptious femme beloveds. Wherever you show up for the show – back, front, on stage, in the audience, taking a stroll in the park cuz it’s too nice a day to spend in the theater – queer femme energy sparkles and spins and sprinkles its magic.
Today, remember and remind yourself of how you bring queer healing and delight to the world with all your myriad amazing sparkle.
I see you.
I celebrate you.
I standing O your outstanding performances wheresoever they take place.
Every Monday I offer a Meditation for Queer Femmes, in the spirit of my maternal grandmother, Mimi, who was fabulous, and from whom I inherited her Meditations for Women.
At the Total Femme, my intention has been to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday, and Femme Friday on Friday. Lately, I’ve just been concentrating on Mondays. And sometimes weeks go by… I’m here, though. I’m here. Do you have a post you’d like to share? That would be fucking awesome! Contact me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com
The Total Femme 